Congratulations on the arrival of your new bundle of joy! Becoming a parent is one of the most exciting and rewarding experiences in life, but it is also filled with uncertainty and doubt. It's natural to question whether you are doing the right thing and if you will be a good parent. Let me reassure you that you are on the right track and will be a great parent to your newborn child.
You and Your Child are Learning
Being a parent is a learning process and it takes time to develop the skills and confidence needed to care for your child. Read that previous sentence again. Being a parent is a learning process. It takes time to develop skill and confidence. This week, my wife and I spent hours trying to teach our 3 year old how to spell his name. He can parrot back entire sentences, but 5 letters stumped him. We drilled for hours, repeating, pointing, clapping, and snapping. Frustration was boiling over and then, like a light turned on, he got it. Why this story? Our son wasn't the only one learning. He is our first and we aren't exactly the perfect parents yet. We had to learn how to teach him and he was learning how to spell (or at least repeat us). On that note, it's important to remember that there is no such thing as a perfect parent. Everyone makes mistakes and grows frustrated. The closest we can get to perfect is growth. The most important thing is that you love and care for your child and are willing to learn and grow as a parent.
Be Kind and Patient
One of the first things to remember as a new parent is to be kind and patient with yourself. You will feel overwhelmed and exhausted in the beginning. Remember, you're still as important as your child. Take care of yourself and your own well-being so that you can take care of your child. You'll find that parents who care for themselves find a way to take better care of their children. This does not mean to go out and party because "you need to take care of yourself". Make sure you are getting enough sleep, eat well, and take time for yourself to relax and recharge. Don't lose your indentity to become a parent, instead add being a parent to your identity. If before you had a child you loved to read, keep reading. Read aloud to your child, they'll love it because they hear your calming voice. When you're feeling at your wits end, fall back on your support system. Reach out to your partner, family and friends, and don't be afraid to ask for help if you need it.
Learn and Grow Together
As your child grows, you will learn what works best for them and what doesn't. Every child is different and there is no one-size-fits-all approach to parenting. Trust your instincts and don't be afraid to experiment with different strategies to see what works for you and your child. While you're testing what is working and not, be flexible! You'll see so many articles about strict parenting, indulgent parenting, permissive parenting, authoritarian parenting... The list is never-ending. There is no right answer for parenting, each child and parent is unique and respond best in different ways. You may find that your child needs more redirection and rules, but still needs few boundaries to learn best. Listen to the feedback your child gives you in their actions and change your approach to best suit your situation.
One of the most important things you can do as a parent is to create a loving and nurturing environment for your child. Show them love and affection, and make sure they feel safe and secure. Spend quality time with them and engage in activities that they enjoy. As they get older, encourage their curiosity and creativity, and support their interests and passions. Introduce them to the world around them and let them show you the magic that we lose when becoming adults. Teach them to ask questions and reward them with the answers they are seeking. In their early years, you're going to be their best friend and parent. You're going to learn to balance these roles best for your child. Don't get frustrated when they want to play with you, you might miss it when they grow up!
Set Healthy Boundaries and Foster Independence
It's also important to set boundaries and establish a routine for your child. This will help them feel secure and provide a sense of stability and predictability in their lives. Consistency is key and it's important to follow through with the rules and guidelines you set for your child. You'll also have to foster independence and self-reliance in your child. As they grow, give them the opportunity to make their own choices and take on responsibilities. This will help them develop a sense of self-worth and confidence. These two ideas conflict at their core, but balance between the two is important. If you have too many boundaries, you stunt your child's growth. If you let them do everything on their own, they won't develop because they don't know how to learn yet. Thinking this is tough? It is! Don't frustrate yourself if you feel like you aren't getting it right, there is no one right answer. One certainty is that by self-reflecting and thinking you can do more means you're a great parent because you want better for your child.
Being a parent can be challenging, but it is important to remember to be patient with yourself. You are doing the best you can and you are on the right course. Remember to take time for yourself and don't be too hard on yourself if things don't go as planned. You are doing a great job and your children will be grateful for all the love and care you provide. Keep up the good work and trust in yourself.
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Written by Joseph Humenuik
Joe is a 34-year-old father of two boys, with another one on the way. He works as an SEO specialist, helping businesses improve their online visibility and reach. When he's not working, John loves to cook and experiment with new recipes in the kitchen. He's also passionate about home remodeling and enjoys taking on DIY projects to improve his home.
